Obiter Dictum

Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention --- Cornelia Otis Skinner

Sunday, February 27

Give me a Break!

Update: Okay, I posted this yesterday and I thought Blogger ate it. Apparently, it coughed it back up!

I called my Dad this morning. I'm thinking ahead (for once) to Father's Day, and I needed to see if it would be prudent of me to buy him and my Uncle White Sox tickets for when the Dodgers (my dad's favorite team) come to town. My dad's second favorite team is the Sox so I figured that's a win-win, right?

Well, the game is June 17th and a few weeks after that my cousin is getting married in Virginia. The very next week is our family reunion in Mississippi (gag!) so he's gonna check with my Uncle and see what's what. That was a nice story, right?

Well, then I ask him if he's started back to walking every morning like he used to do. He and my (pseudo) Uncle used to walk about four miles every morning. Then, both of them had knee issues so they stopped. This is what he says:

"I need to start walking again because I gained four pounds."

Four pounds?! What, is he an F-ing supermodel now?! Four pounds.

And then, to add insult to injury, he says : "And I can really tell the difference."

Okay, STOP THE MADNESS! (whatever happened to that woman, anyway?) Four pounds. My dad is a relatively big guy, my lack of height nonwithstanding. He's about 6' 1" and he weights about 220. 4 pounds. You gotta be kidding me. Damn prima donnas.....


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