Get real

I love authors. I do. I'm a book person, of course I love authors. Authors write books. (hot anchors also write books, but I think we've covered that extensively here already....)

Special delivery to my desk today was this big F-ing book. I can't even properly describe how bush league this book is. First of all, its one novel in TWO volumes. The first volume has 615 pages(!!) and then has a 5 page preview of volume 2. I have volume 2 right here, dude. AND, after the preview, there are 84 (!!!) pages of "Appendices A-C"

Are you kidding me?!

The cover of the book lists the title (which I'm not going to mention) and a very stupid, I don't know what the hell my book is about subtitle. And, the clincher? It lists his name. First middle last and THEN lists his alias. What?! Is that his chat room alias or what? Are you serious, dude?

Finally, after 1206 pages, we're all done. I haven't read this book, but what I have read seems to violate the age old "show, don't tell" Fiction writing rule. Its mostly passively written and I'm just getting sleepy thinking about it. The author is a history major, and would probably be a great historical writer.....but missing the mark on fiction.