Obiter Dictum

Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention --- Cornelia Otis Skinner

Tuesday, January 9

Laundry time is not a good time for being bat shit crazy

Dear Mr. Crazy Stalker Man,

I don't want your phone number. You get a few points for offering it to me, instead of trying to get mine, but I don't want it. Do you know why I don't want it? Because, Mr. CSM, you are bat shit crazy. There are a few things you don't say to someone you don't know. One of them is always "I've been watching you."

Then, you probably also shouldn't go on to describe their car, how you wave to them, or anything else that requires you to speak. Why? Because speaking makes you sound bat shit crazy.

Look, you're probably a nice person. But, let's just take inventory, shall we? I go to the laundry room and put clothes in the washer, and you're there. I go back to put clothes in the dryer, and you're waving to me from your porch where you were clearly waiting for me to walk by. I go back to get clothes to bring home, and you're THERE! Stop being there. Let's add in the fact that YOU were putting clothes in the dryer when I went the first time. Your clothes should have been long done by then.

Aside from the fact that you're a crazy stalker, don't you see how desperate and pathetic it makes you look? Waiting for someone while they're doing their laundry? It's sad. No, it really is. Stop asking me my name. Stop following me to the laundry. Stop waving to me (even though I've never seen you doing it.)

robin (not that you need to know my name!)


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home